If your inner good girl comes forth, you probably know it. She’s the one who always follows the rules, pleases everyone, and never makes a scene. You’re nice, considerate, and always put other people’s needs before your own. And while being a good girl has its merits, it can also hold you back from living a truly fulfilling life.
Because being a good girl means playing small. Yes.
It means censoring your true desires and holding yourself back from asking for what you really want. It means putting other people’s needs above your own and stifling your authentic voice. In short, being a good girl means living your life on someone else’s terms instead of your own.
If that sounds like you, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Most women have been socialized to be good girls since birth. But the good news is that it’s never too late to break free from this limiting mindset and claim your power.
Be honest with yourself about what you really want.
The first step to overcoming the good girl mindset is to get clear on what you really want in life—not what you think you “should” want or what would please other people, but what would truly make you happy. This can be a difficult process because we’ve been so conditioned to put other people’s needs before our own, but it’s important to spend some time soul-searching and get in touch with your deepest desires. Once you know what you want, you can start taking steps to make it a reality.
Start speaking up for yourself—even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
If you’re used to acquiescing to others and putting their needs before yours, it can feel scary to start speaking up for yourself. But it’s important to do this if you want to break free from the good girl mindset and claim your power. Remember that no one else is going to fight for what you want—you have to do it yourself! So start saying “no” when people ask you for things that you don’t want to do, setting boundaries with toxic people in your life, and speaking up about the things that matter to you—even if it feels difficult at first. The more you do it, the easier it will become.
Release the need for approval from others
One of the main things that holds good girls back is their need for approval from others—because they’ve been taught that their worthiness is contingent upon pleasing others and meeting their expectations. But the truth is that you don’t need anyone’s approval except for your own. You are worthy and deserving of love and respect just as you are—regardless of whether or not other people approve of you! So start practicing giving yourself the approval and validation that you so crave from others, and watch as your life begins to change in amazing ways as a result.
If you’re ready to break free from the good girl mindset and claim your power, these three steps will help get you there: get clear on what you really want; start speaking up for yourself; release the need for approval from others . It won’t be easy at first—but it will be so worth it when you finally begin living your life on your own terms instead of someone else’s.